The Mystiqueros exited the honky-tonk road aka i-95 for an expeditious lunch in mid-town Philadelphia. Jesse Scott, our resident tour guide on loan from Musicfog.com, suggested a pair of ‘cheesesteak factories’ caddy corner from each other. My MQ brethren looked to me to decide, as they often do, when it comes to food/restaurant choices. I instinctively gravitated towards Pat’s, as it has the less flashy facade of the two. The line in which we queued was undoubtedly healthier than the fare on the menu, but it moved with the speed of a famished cheetah in hot pursuit of a gazelle on the Serengetti. Detroit auto executives would be wise to recruit their work force from this kitchen. Before you could assimilate the indigenous attitude they dish out, the culinary creation was ready. We did our best to blend in, betrayed only by our Chippewa boots, while scarfing down our respective works of art. Alas, as I took my last bite, the Gino’s beacon beckoned, stared me down & ultimately summoned me over. I had to know which had the better ‘wich’. 
Having learned the lingo from my earlier experience, I ordered with the false confidence of an adolescent male asking out his first cheerleader. “One mushroom steak, wit (this indicates the appearance of onions), no cheese”, with a slight tremor in my voice, as I repeated the ‘no cheese’ part. As I feared, my novice approach had revealed my presence as an interloper, or worse, a tourist. “I heard you the third time” he barked out a verbal whipping along with my change. El Guapo, having grown up in these parts, explained not to take such quips to heart. Still, it must have left somewhat of a bad taste in my mouth as I found the latter sandwich to be void of the seasoning of it’s counterpart. I retraced my boot steps back over to Pat’s to let my compadres sample the offering to mixed but also lackluster reviews. In all fairness, we were more famished than the aforementioned cheetah when we arrived at the first eatery, which quite possibly diminished our hunger by the second. But I still have trust in my ‘buds’, both of taste & of the Mystiquero brotherhood.
Final tally: Pats over Gino’s by an attitude.
- By G/mq5 food critic
